A Season Among Friends
by Anamcarabean
Summary: Capt. Bridger, Lucas, and company bring comfort and wisdom to a pained young woman, helping her find her way back to smiling. Whoo! Chapter 4 is up! Please, please R&R!!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: None of the seaQuest crew are mine. ::sniffles:: Also, a little spoiler for later in the story, I found the idea of Nathan and Kristen married and Lucas adopted appealing for my purposes. No offense intended to anyone! And I'm certainly not making any money whatsoever from this.  
  
Dedication: To anyone who has ever lost a close friend, and to all those friends who make a huge difference in the lives of those that love them.  
  
  
  
She let her eyes close slowly, enjoying the feel of the soft breeze in her hair. She loved this. The sound of the surf pounding relentlessly against the rocks echoed the turmoil inside her. The ocean, particularly the section of sea surrounding Portland Head Light, was one of the few places that helped her to feel better any more. Everything was upside down, nothing felt right or made sense any more. She couldn't remember the last time she'd honestly smiled. She concentrated harder on the ever-soothing sound of the water, and the clean, purifying salt tang in the air, and let her mind drift backward.  
  
Six months before, she'd been happily going through life, almost finished with her first semester at the University of Maine. She was excited and ready to get home to her friends from high school. She'd wanted to share her new experiences, talk about her new friends. She was especially excited about seeing Eliza. Eliza had been her best friend since kindergarten. They'd been nearly inseparable since kindergarten…now fourteen years previous. Eliza had opted to go to an aeronautical university in Florida. This semester was the longest time they had ever spent apart. Break was going to be an absolute ball.  
  
Melanie blinked and focused on the sparkling water, still lost in thought. She remembered the day and time the foundations of her nineteen years of life cracked and crumbled to dust beneath her feet.  
  
December the third, ten-thirty p.m.- Melanie had just climbed into bed when the phone rang. She answered, surprised to hear Eliza's older sister Hadley on the other end. At first, Melanie couldn't understand why Hadley had seemed so upset. Melanie heard her take a deep breath before she spoke.  
  
"Melanie, I have some important news for you. Eliza was in an accident today."  
  
Panic. Melanie's heart began to pound in her throat. "Is Liza all right? She's going to be ok, right? Is she in the hospital?" She had to ask, but part of her knew it was worse. Her stomach clenched, and joined her heart in her throat.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mel. Eliza's gone. She died in a plane crash earlier this afternoon." Hadley was quiet, waiting for what would come next, what she expected.  
  
"No... no…she's right there with you, right? She's standing right behind you, telling you to tell me this, right? I mean, she has to be…" The words were incoherent, stuttered, slurred, even. They came out in a tumultuous rush, a defense against the tears that would come in copious amounts later.  
  
Hadley took a ragged breath. Melanie could hear her shaking her head on the other end. "God, I really wish I could say that. I'm so sorry, Mel. She really is gone."  
  
The rest of the phone call was a blur. Melanie did remember the hysterical phone call to her parents, hoping they would tell her everything was all right, that everything was fine, that Eliza was already waiting for her at home. She had no such luck. Her mother had cried as hard as she had. The two had been so close that it was like both families had lost a daughter. Her mother had also understood that Melanie had lost not only her best friend, but also a twin sister in spirit if not in fact. For a girl who had never been Miss Popularity, or had much self-confidence, the loss of a friend like Eliza…sister, confidante, supporter, defender, was a devastating and debilitating blow. Her recovery hadn't even really begun to start yet. It was hindered by the many obligations she seemed to have now. Being strong for her sisters, her parents, and most especially, Eliza's family. Melanie remembered that once, her younger sister Megan, only thirteen or so at the time, had caught her crying. She'd put her hand on Melanie's shoulder, given her a hug and her favorite stuffed animal, and told her that everything would be all right. It was a bittersweet memory in a sea of painful ones. Melanie wasn't sure if anything would ever be all right again.  
  
She felt her anger rising like the relentless tide beneath her, and her fist curled around a good-sized stone. With all the force she could muster, she hurled it into the pounding surf, screaming as she did. "Why?!? Dear god, why Eliza?? She was so young! She had everything to live for! Why?" It would never make sense. Even if she lived to be a thousand years old, Eliza's death wouldn't make sense. Tears trickled down her cheeks, and she sank down to her perch again, cradling her head in her hands. Relentless, wracking sobs overtook her for a few moments before she regained control over her emotions. The release of all that pent-up anger had felt very, very good. Maybe she'd try it again in a few moments.  
  
Her ideas about that changed a moment later, when she heard footfalls on the rocks behind her. Her mind grumbled. 'Damn tourists. Can't leave a person to their thoughts out here…out of all the outcroppings, they just had to pick mine, didn't they?' The stranger seemed unaware of her wish for privacy, because they plopped themselves down on a rock near her. She could see their feet…they were perched sort of beside and a little above her, almost in a diagonal kind of direction. The person heaved a sigh of relaxation and took a long, deep breath.  
  
"It's certainly beautiful out here, isn't it? The ocean is always lovely." She stiffened only slightly. 'They came out here for conversation??' Perhaps she should oblige whoever it was. It could prove a welcome distraction from thoughts that were best left aside on a beautiful June day on the Maine coast.  
  
Her response was soft, thoughtful. "Especially today. Look at the way the sun hits the water. It makes the water look like a blanket of millions of opals. They're always moving towards the shore and the rocks, each eager to have a moment of glorious freedom, hitting the rocks and reaching towards the sunlight, some of them separated completely before they rejoin the rest and begin the dance anew." Ha. Let them respond to that. Her lips quirked up at the corners a touch as she watched a cloud of seagulls following a lobster boat eagerly.  
  
There was a soft chuckle, oddly familiar somehow, and the person did have a response. "You know, Melanie, I think there's a poet's soul hiding somewhere in there. It comes out in bits and pieces in your letters, or calls, but it obviously finds the easiest outlet near the sea." She stiffened…how on earth did the stranger know her name? Her head tilted, and she moved it to look up at her new companion. She nearly fell off her rock, jumping in recognition.  
  
"Nathan…I mean, Captain…I mean…." She was flustered, stuttering in surprise at this visit. It was a surprise to see him here at all. She'd met him in late October, when her marine biology professor, Dr. Kimball, had introduced his "star" student to his old friend Nathan Bridger and his adopted son Lucas. They'd all three kept in touch with frequent e-mails or calls. She'd forgotten to let them know what had happened, her correspondence had just stopped since Eliza's death.  
  
He chuckled again. "Just Nathan, dear girl. Have you forgotten all of that correspondence since Joe introduced you to someone who could answer some of the questions you had that he couldn't?" A salt and pepper brow rose upwards slightly.  
  
"No…no, I haven't forgotten." Another quirk of her lips, the closest she got to smiling these days.  
  
"Good. Speaking of correspondence…we haven't heard from you in quite a while. How've you been?" The lack of smiles hadn't gone unnoticed. This certainly wasn't the Melanie he and Lucas had come to know. Something had happened to wipe that smile clean away and turn her into the too serious too early woman in front of him.  
  
"I'm sorry about that, Nathan…I meant to get in touch with you…" She shrugged slightly. "I've been surviving, I guess. Things got…jumbled. Just making it through a day has been my main concern, of late. How are you and Lucas, anyway? Has he caused much trouble since we talked last?" Hazel eyes looked at him with some degree of honest curiosity. Well, some emotion was good, at least in Nathan's eyes. "And…what about seaQuest? You are still Captain, aren't you?" Both her eyebrows rose.  
  
Nathan smiled. "Yes, I am still Captain. Lucas is fine, though he was worried terribly when we just suddenly stopped hearing from you. I'll admit, I was a bit worried, as well. As for the whereabouts of seaQuest, Jonathan Ford can handle her just fine. I had some business to take care of here on the mainland, and I thought that I might as well check in on you, too."  
  
Melanie nodded, with that odd quirk of lips again. "I appreciate the effort. I really should have contacted you somehow, to save you the trip and the anxiety. Things right now just seem too hard to write about, I guess."  
  
Nathan prodded gently; he wouldn't force her to talk about what was bothering her if she wasn't willing to volunteer it. "Is it too hard to tell a friend about?"  
  
She shrugged. "I suppose not. I mean, it is and isn't. My best friend Eliza…she died in a flying accident right before winter break. We were inseparable for thirteen years. Now it just feels like that's all…gone. I feel angry, I feel lonely…but most times, I just feel empty, you know?"  
  
She was willing to talk about it…had volunteered the information easily enough. That was a good sign, to Nathan's way of thinking. "I do know. I felt that way when my first wife, Carol, died."  
  
Melanie shifted the rocks slowly, gently tossing another rock into the surf. She tried to look nonchalant, but she was dying with curiosity, and it showed. "Really? I have a question, then." She thought out her next words carefully, chewing on her bottom lip, trying not to show that she felt so lost that she'd be lucky to find her way out of a paper bag. "Does it ever go away? The pain, I mean? And this empty feeling…will I ever feel it fill up again? For that matter, will I ever feel anything but this again, Nathan?" Her gaze was open, questioning, looking for some kind of guidance. It was too hard to keep the act up, especially around someone who understood what she was feeling, to an extent. It was a sign to him, a silent gesture of trust, an important step in her healing process.  
  
He gave her a gentle smile. "As hard as it is to believe right now, yes, the pain will slowly fade…though it may never fully leave you. The emptiness, that will fill over time, as well. Eventually, love will fill that gap that you feel is missing. You will feel again. You're too young not to. Just remember that though it may hurt to think of her right now, Eliza will always be part of you. She will still live in your memories, and who knows, Melanie? She might even help you get through rougher times in your life." An idea began to form in his mind, taking what he knew about Melanie…that she'd grown up near here. Her hometown had to be full of ghosts for her. It wasn't helping her to heal at all. She needed time and space to think through this, allow some of the pain to fade without ripping the wound open again with every corner she turned.  
  
"Care to know a secret?" Melanie's soft voice interrupted his thoughts momentarily. He simply nodded. "The secret to any shred of sanity I have left right now is this place." She made a motion to the water. "The sea seems to heal all manner of wounds, especially emotional. I come here when I need space and quiet to think. Here, at the lighthouse, or over at the beach at night, watching the moon play on the water surrounded by all the stars." Her voice had lost some of its bitter edge, and her eyes had lost some of their pain. He nodded mentally. This idea would be wonderful for her.  
  
"The sea is an incredible place, and you, like me, are one of a special breed that cannot function without its presence in their life. I can tell, watching you here. I could tell whenever you talked about this place." Nathan ran his fingers over the sun-warmed rock, glancing at the sky. The sun was setting already? It had seemed to be early afternoon only moments ago. "I just had a thought, a proposition that might appeal to you. We have an extra bunk available on board. How would you like to spend the summer, and perhaps a semester, if it's workable with the University, with us on the seaQuest? It'll give you some time to sort through life, without ghosts or associations of Eliza to haunt you or knock you down every time things start to get better. What do you say? Lucas would be thrilled to have you…and you wouldn't have to worry about proximity to the ocean." He gave her a grin, eyes sparkling. The idea was great. Now he just had to hope that she'd accept, for her sake.  
  
He watched her think. She thought for a good long while, staring out to sea. Once again, he could see her chewing her bottom lip. He could nearly see the wheels turning in her head. She really was a very intelligent girl, straight 'A' student, a lovely personality, and a passion for the arts and learning. She had so many opportunities before her, if he could pull her out of this mire she was in now. A few moments later, Nathan was graced with the beginnings of the first real smile she'd had in months. "It would do me good, keep me near the place I think best…a place that is very dear to me. You've got a deal, Nathan. Thank you so much."  
  
Nathan grinned. Victory. "No, thank you, Melanie. Now Lucas can stop complaining about how nobody on board understands him because they're all too old. We have arrangements to make, and the sun is setting. Shall we?" He stood up, brushing himself off, and offered her his arm. She nodded, moving up easily, dusting herself off, and taking his arm. The two clambered over the rocks in companionable silence. 


	2. Introductions

Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own the seaQuest characters…I'm just borrowing them to play! Honestly! And I'm certainly not making any money. I found the idea of Kristen and Nathan married and having adopted Lucas as very appealing for my purpose. No offense meant to anyone.  
  
Dedication: To all those who have ever lost a close friend, and to all those good friends who make a tremendous difference in the lives of those that love them.  
  
  
  
Lucas really had been thrilled to hear that Melanie would be staying with them on board of an extended period of time. He'd made himself her constant companion, and introduced her to nearly everyone on board. Her head was still whirling with all the names. Many of the crew had insisted that she use their first name. At least she was able to remember the names of those she saw the most: Nathan, Kristen, Jon, Katie, Miguel, Tim, and Lucas. She was already starting to learn her way around quickly. Oh…and one more name: Darwin. One of the first places Lucas had shown her was the moon pool. He'd introduced her to Darwin that same day. The dolphin was remarkably perceptive. He'd told her she was sad within the first ten minutes of their acquaintance. That intuitive intellect had intrigued the marine biology major in her.  
  
With a sigh, she finished climbing into the wetsuit for her daily swim. It gave her time to think away from Lucas, away from the constant bustle of the sub. It wasn't that she disliked it, just sometimes…it was too much. The water gave her freedom to just simply exist. That one task, to simply relax and exist and let life work itself out, were her direct orders from Nathan. He'd worked everything out with the University for her. She was getting major credits for not doing much. Well, she did spend some time in the lab with Kristen and the science crew, learning everything she possibly could. It seemed easier to learn a lot of things in the field, as opposed to being in a classroom.  
  
"Mmmm…" Melanie gave a soft sound of relaxation as she lowered herself into the water. She loved the feeling of the water around her, gently caressing, welcoming. She let her thoughts wander to the crew again, floating peacefully on her back. They had been a very friendly and sympathetic lot. The key word there was sympathetic. There was no pity for her, at least none that anyone let her see. She was beginning to realize that somehow, eventually, she would survive this. Eventually, she'd start to heal enough to be somewhat like her former self. She wasn't at all sure how she'd get there, but she did realize that she couldn't be around people who pitied her. Pity served no purpose but to keep someone back, hold them down. Eliza would want her to keep going. And she was…well, sort of. Her existence at the moment was a strange sort of limbo. The odd thing was, she was getting used to it.  
  
A current of water moved past her, and she settled herself on her feet. Darwin had decided he wanted to give her some company now. The dolphin hadn't seemed to mind sharing his pool with her, even though she wasn't always up for playing with him. Instead, he just swam along side her. She didn't mind that at all. She found swimming with Darwin very therapeutic. There was just something intensely soothing about his presence. She wasn't quite sure exactly what it was. Melanie reached out a hand, brushing her fingers against the dolphin lightly, acknowledging his presence. "Trying to tell me it's time for a swim, hmm?" Her lips curled ever so slightly as the dolphin chittered his positive response. "All right. Just one second." With a deep breath, she plunged under the water, and came back up. "Much better. Now, we can swim."  
  
She pushed off the bottom, and began the soothing, meditative rhythm of the crawl. One, two, breathe…one, two, breathe. Each movement was calculated, never wasting movement or energy. She had powerful arms and strong legs, formed from years of swimming. She'd been swimming since she could remember, and had always loved the water. The physical exercise cleared her mind, leaving her pleasantly relaxed and tired. The movements also helped her to give vent to some of her anger and frustration. On really bad days, she would race with Darwin, something that made him happy, and left her in an improved state of mind. Her mind wandered, the rhythm of her movements established.  
  
Her pain had lessened somewhat, from a roaring scream to a dull, seemingly permanent ache. It was the emptiness that scared her the most. It still threatened to overtake her and swallow her whole in her off moments. Melanie was starting to accept the fact that Liza was gone, permanently. The state of shock she had lived in for those months before coming aboard three weeks ago was wearing off. She was able to see her position a little more clearly. However, there were still nights that she cried herself to sleep. There were still even more nights she woke up in a cold sweat, reliving that night over and over in her dreams. She was lonely, even among friends here. She felt isolated from the crew, because she still used her hurt as a shield. She was terrified, absolutely terrified of allowing anyone that close ever again. Caring just hurt too much.  
  
Another turn, another lap. Melanie was unaware of her audience, partially hidden as they were by a door. Lucas and Ben Krieg watched her swim, both surprised at her grace and fluidity in the water. The two kept their voices low as they conversed, respectful of Melanie's space and privacy in the water.  
  
"I…I don't know about it, Lucas. It just seems wrong to hook up an introduction during her personal time in the day." Ben did have a heart, and he realized that when someone was trying to mend from a loss, sometimes they really needed their privacy.  
  
"Relax, Ben. I've come to talk to her here a bunch of times before. It's not a big deal." Lucas was positive that this introduction would be beneficial to both parties: Ben and Melanie. "Besides, we're only here to pick her up for dinner, right? She'll probably end up sitting with Mom and Dad again, and not with us. So don't let it bother you too much." Lucas had been very good about sharing the attention of Nathan and Kristen with Melanie. He felt protective of her, almost…brotherly. It was a new feeling, and he had to admit he kind of liked it. "Look, Ben, I'm worried about her. Really worried. She's a very strong person, I can see it. I know her…well, her usual self, anyhow. She used to be all smiles and laughter. Now…we're lucky if she'll turn the corners of her lips up. Even if she does smile, it's never genuine, just a polite acknowledgement that doesn't reach her eyes. It's been almost eight months since Eliza died. Melanie acts like she just got the news. Please, Ben…you're the morale officer. You've got to do this favor for me. You can make anyone smile; I've seen it. Help Melanie find her smile again? If anyone can do it, it's you. Please?"  
  
Ben pondered the request, eyes following the girl in the water. Added to the look Lucas was giving him, how could he say no? "All right, Lucas. You've got a deal." He held up a hand. "But, before you start gushing your thanks all over the place, wait to thank me until I get results, ok? I'm not sure if I can help her…this isn't really my specialty, you know. I do promise you that I'll try my damnedest to help, though." Lucas smiled and nodded.  
  
"I knew I could count on you, Ben." He motioned to the moon pool with a tilt of his head. "Shall we?" Ben nodded, and Lucas led the way across the room, making sure his footsteps echoed. He called out, giving further advance notice of their arrival…it was usually better not to scare the living daylights out of Melanie. "Hey, Mel!" He waved a little as she looked up and swam to the edge of the pool.  
  
"Hey, Lucas. What's up? Is it really already time to eat?" Melanie had hooked her arms around the lip of the pool, a slightly more solid place to talk than just floating around. Her expression was welcoming, her lips turned up a touch in that odd half-smile she had now.  
  
"You better believe it. You must be starving after all that swimming." Lucas offered her a hand, helping her out of the pool.  
  
"I am, remarkably. My appetite is starting to come back. Do you consider that to be good progress, Sancho?" She started call him that after he'd made himself her tour guide and protector, and all around general sidekick. He was playing Sancho Panza to her Don Quixote, she'd mused one afternoon. The nickname had stuck.  
  
"I do indeed. C'mon…out of the pool." She moved out of the water just as easily as she'd been swimming. Ben got his first good look at seaQuest's newest face. He hadn't been acquainted with her yet because he'd been on leave when she first came aboard, and a chance hadn't arisen since he'd gotten back. He was very, very surprised at what he saw.  
  
She stood about five nine or five ten, fairly tall for a woman. What surprised him though, was her weight. She wasn't a tiny woman. If she'd been four inches shorter, the weight would have been far more noticeable. She carried it well on her height. In fact, he was certain that if she hadn't been wearing that wetsuit that hugged every inch, he wouldn't have noticed it at all. Her grace had made him think that she was smaller. His eyes moved to her face. Classic lines, full lips…he'd bet good money she had a gorgeous smile. Her hair was a rich dark brown, kept in shorter layers. She had expressive hazel eyes, as well. There were faint lines around her eyes…laugh lines, he realized, startled. Lucas was right. Melanie had spent most of her life laughing and smiling. The sight of the laugh lines strengthened his resolve to bring that smile out again.  
  
"I see you brought a friend, Lucas." Melanie's voice was quiet, blushing all the way to her roots and grabbing a towel to try and avoid Ben's scrutiny. Her weight was a touchy subject, and she was incredibly self-conscious, especially around new people. Still, she took the initiative, taking the few steps forward to stand in front of Ben, stretching a hand forward. "I'm Melanie, but you can call me Mel, if you'd like. Most people do." Accompanied by that introduction was that same hint of genuine smile that Nathan had received when he'd invited her on board.  
  
Ben took her hand, it was warm and soft. "Lt. Ben Krieg. I'm the morale officer for seaQuest. I'm sorry I missed your arrival, but I was on leave. Please call me Ben. Most people only use my rank or last name when I'm in trouble. It really is a pleasure to meet you." He grinned at her, and thought he might have seen an answering spark of humor in her eyes. It was hard to tell in the dim surroundings, especially with the reflection off the water.  
  
"The same here, Ben." She let go of his hand, and tossed the towel over her shoulder. "You guys give me about five minutes to change, and then we can head over to the mess. Sound good?" Both men nodded. "Great. I'll be as quick as I can, then." Melanie headed in the direction of the changing room and disappeared through the door. Ben instantly rounded on Lucas.  
  
"You didn't mention she was cute." It was almost accusatory, as if Lucas had some other hidden agenda in the introduction. The younger man shrugged.  
  
"I don't really notice. I look on her as more of a sister figure. That's why if you mess this up, and if you try and con her into bed and end up hurting her some more, I'll break both your legs, Ben." It was said with such conviction, such certainty, that all Ben could do was laugh.  
  
"That was the furthest thing from my mind. It just occurred to me that since she's cute, it'll be easier to spend time with her." Ben was at least a little superficial.  
  
"Don't worry, Ben. Don't worry. Before long, you won't even notice her looks. That is, if she opens up to you." Lucas sent a look towards the changing room door, hoping that this was going to work.  
  
  
  
Melanie had opted to sit with Ben, Lucas, Miguel and Tim for dinner. Though she didn't really smile much, her sense of sarcastic wit and humor hadn't seemed to desert her, either that, or Ben just brought it out in her. The other three men hadn't seen her say maybe more than four words at a meal before today. They were astonished. By the time the meal had ended, the four men were doubled over laughing, and even Melanie had started a genuine half-smile.  
  
Pushing her chair out slowly, Melanie stood. She nodded to the guys, and murmured her good-byes. She was ready to get back to her room and finish up that book she'd been devouring over the past two or three days. She also wanted to review her notes from her last session in the lab before she went in again tomorrow. She'd already gotten halfway down the hall when she heard footsteps clanging behind her.  
  
"Hey, Mel, wait up a second!" It was Ben. She was in a pleasant mood, her usual cloud of gloom dissipated for the time being, so she stopped, half-turned, waiting for him to catch up. He came to a stop beside her, smiling again. "Thanks. Ummm…mind if I walk you back to your quarters?"  
  
"Sure. I wouldn't mind talking to someone before I shut myself away for the night." Her lips quirked again, and he chuckled as they both started to moved down the hall. He glanced over, studying her profile. He'd noticed that her hair tended to dry into an unruly, but endearing mop of auburn/brown curls. It suited her, even though her profile was serious…very studious.  
  
"What do you think of the seaQuest?" Dumb question, he knew, but he had to start somewhere.  
  
"I like it a lot. It's comfortable. I find being under the ocean just as nice as being beside it on the coastline." She turned to look up at him…not a great distance, given her height. "I've always been comforted by the sea, always done my best thinking and writing on the coast, next to the water. No matter what happens in a person's life, the ocean is still there. Tides come in and out, regardless of the events and doings of man. That constancy is very comforting. Something to hold on to when things get shaken up."  
  
Ben nodded thoughtfully. "Very true. Life gets shaken up rather often these days, huh?"  
  
Melanie nodded. "In more ways than one. I'm starting to learn all about that. I suppose all one can do is muddle through as best they can, right? I mean, there are some things that happen that are entirely out of your hands, that you can't change. There are situations where 'what ifs' only serve to make it seem worse. Eventually, we all have to accept it, and start moving on." The words were soft, and he was startled to realize they'd stopped at her door, and she was looking up at him.  
  
"Sounds like you've already started." He gave her a warm smile. "Thanks for letting me walk you home, so to speak. Maybe we could do it again sometime?"  
  
He wasn't seeing things…she actually blushed a light shade of pink. Her words were soft. "That would be nice. I would like that. Thanks for walking me home." She looked around, nervously biting her bottom lip, one hand on the door handle. "So…I guess I'll see you soon. G'night, Ben."  
  
He nearly grinned. Instead, he just smiled. "Goodnight, Mel. Sleep well, and I'll see you soon." She started to open the door, and he turned and started to walk away.  
  
"Ben! Hang on a second…would you like to come swimming with Darwin and I tomorrow afternoon, after I get out of the lab?" Melanie was half in, half out her door, a flush riding high in her cheeks.  
  
"I would like that very much. When should I pick you up from the lab?" He was nearly dancing right where he stood, things going so much better than he thought they would.  
  
"Say about…1400. Is that good for you?" She was chewing on her bottom lip again.  
  
"You got it. 1400 at the science lab tomorrow. I'll see you then. Pleasant dreams." He gave her a small salute and turned, disappearing before she could say anything further. Melanie just shut the door and leaned against it on the inside. She wasn't sure what had possessed her to invite him to swim, but it had just felt right. Oh well, too late now. Besides…he was good-looking. It wouldn't hurt her to get to know him. Eliza would approve heartily, she was sure of it. With a mental hum, she flopped onto her bunk and opened her book. 


	3. Acceptance

Chapter 3 Acceptance  
  
Disclosure: See previous chapters  
  
It had been a good month and a half since Melanie had come aboard seaQuest. She was beginning to feel less angry about Eliza's death, even less sad. She kept herself very busy during the day, having become a near- permanent fixture in Kristen's lab. She still made time for swimming with Darwin, and of course, she tried always to make time to hang out with Ben or Lucas or the whole gang. The constant exercise had begun to manifest its effects physically. She had slimmed down considerably, though she still wasn't exactly thin. She was beginning to like herself again, all the questions and doubts about herself that had been brought on by such a sudden loss were starting to clear themselves up, with more positive answers than there had been even before.  
  
One hand idly flipped the page of the book settled in her lap, and she shifted a bit, curling further into the corner of her bunk with an apple she was idly munching on. Half her mind was on the reading in front of her, the other half wandering through the recent months and weeks. She cried less and certainly not every night. The atmosphere on board had helped her to work her own way through the tangles she'd been presented with. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Who is it?" She asked.she would rather be alone if she could, but it all depended on her visitor.  
  
"It's Nathan, Mel. I just wanted to stop in for a talk. Do you mind if I come in?" Melanie tucked her book away, and shoved an unruly lock of hair out of her eyes.. She'd let it grow out while here, too.  
  
"Surely.feel free to let yourself in, Nate. This is your boat, after all." She cheerily finished as his salt and pepper head poked around the door. She could sound happy, but the smiles were still something she was working on. It was getting closer, though.  
  
"But this is your room. I just wanted to see how you've been doing the past couple weeks. I'm sorry I've been so busy." Nathan ducked in and settled himself at the foot of her bed.  
  
"I'm better, I think. Well, as better as anyone can be in this situation at the moment. It still nags, the hurt, I mean.but it's not overwhelming anymore."  
  
Nathan nodded, smiling a bit. "That's good to hear. I've noticed you and Ben Krieg talk a lot. Lucas mentioned he'd introduced you two." He raised a brow, interested to hear her response to that. Depending on her answer, he might have to have a talk with his morale officer.  
  
Melanie blushed a touch, but not enough to be telling. "He's easy to talk to, and he's funny. He just listens. He's good at listening. If you're looking for anything beyond that, I hate to disappoint you, Nate, but we're definitely just friends."  
  
"I've noticed people seem to have an easy time opening up to him. I'm glad he's helping. I'm also glad I don't have to speak with him. He just has that kind of reputation, you know?"" He shrugged, and Melanie nodded, giving him a three-quarter smile. "You'll make it, you know. Some days are harder than others, but eventually, you'll make it. I can't promise that it won't stop hurting, though. You're a survivor, Mel. You keep proving it to all of us, even if you don't to yourself. I just wanted to let you know that. Keep it in mind. We're all blown away with how well you're handling this, believe it or not, as you like."  
  
If she were surprised at the turn in the conversation, she didn't show it. She just nodded. "I'll keep it in mind.and thank you for your faith in me. I'm starting to find some faith in myself." Her words were so quiet, he almost missed them. They made him smile.  
  
He stood then, giving her that fatherly smile she loved so much about him. "All right, then. I'll see you at dinner, if I don't get called away again. Be good, and finish that reading that Kristen asked you to do." He patted her head lightly, and slipped out the door.  
  
Melanie reached for her book, but decided against it. The room suddenly seemed too confining, and she decided to head for the moon pool and think.  
  
Two hours later, Melanie was still thinking, pondering the answers to questions she'd been afraid to ask herself. Nathan's words kept spinning through her head. Was she a survivor? She'd like to think so, but sometimes friends just said things to help you feel better. She frowned, watching her toe as it made paths through the cool water. She was handling things well? All right, she would take that. In the eyes of others, she was handling it well. Nathan was too honest to tell her things he didn't really believe.  
  
She heaved a deep sigh, splashing her foot gently in the water. This was all so complicated. At least, it felt very complicated. She had, though, out of all this thinking, come to a simple and undeniable fact. Like it or not, she would survive this. Eventually, she really would be ok. And Eliza would encourage that. Hell, she was surprised Eliza wasn't haunting her, telling her to stop moping and smile again. It made Melanie snort in amusement, the idea of Eliza floating over her bed and making funny faces instead of odd ghostly noises. In fact, in made her want to laugh, made her suddenly feel fully human again.  
  
Footsteps echoed on the metal grate behind her, and she turned, that humor still twinkling in her eyes. She clapped her hands happily when she saw who her visitor was. "Ben! I was just going to come see you! I'm glad you found me."  
  
Ben was slightly taken aback at her effusive greeting. He was so used to seeing her more subdued. It made him grin. Something absolutely great was going to happen today. He could feel it. "Well, let's see.my favorite singer isn't in her room, she missed dinner, and I didn't hear any violins anywhere, either. That leaves me with three logical choices. The moon pool, the moon pool, and, oh, yeah, the moon pool." He chuckled. "What weighty matter kept you away from the table tonight?"  
  
There was a smile in her eyes, he could see it. Something cathartic had happened. And then she blushed, looking down at the water for a moment before speaking. "I was thinking about something Nathan said earlier. He told me I was a survivor. And you know what?" She bit her lip, raising her brow a bit while she looked at him. "I think I am. I really think I'm going to be all right, eventually. Besides which, if I keep moping any more, Eliza's going to come and haunt me until I smile again." There it was again.that tingle, that urge to just laugh at the absurd idea. "I think she would, too. I can just imagine waking up to find her floating over my bed." That did it. She looked straight at him, and that wall she'd been using to keep him even at a safe distance cracked. Her lips curled up, and up.into a brilliant full smile. The corners of her eyes crinkled charmingly. And then..before he could even understand what he was seeing, she started to laugh. And laugh, and laugh. He was dumbstruck. All he could do was just grin like a twit and listen to that full, warm laughter. It echoed off the walls, and even got Darwin's attention.  
  
Ben pulled her into a tight hug, starting to laugh with her. She just kept laughing until she couldn't anymore, and her sides started to hurt. Then she grinned up at him, trying to catch her breath. He smiled and spoke quietly, though still with an absolute certainty in his voice. "Yes, Melanie, you're going to be just fine. Just fine, indeed." She hugged him back impulsively, then pulled back to look at him.  
  
They both froze, staring at each other. Something had just changed between them. They could both feel it. There was an almost tangible tension in the air, and it seemed to crackle. It seemed like they were in that position forever, before Ben awkwardly cleared his throat and Melanie pulled away, blushing. "Umm..how about some dinner?" Ben's voice nearly cracked.  
  
Melanie shook her head. "I'll take a raincheck on tonight, but.maybe tomorrow?" She glanced up at him shyly. She had to think about this.about what had happened, hard. Ben nodded.  
  
"Sure. Just let me walk you back?" Melanie nodded, and he pulled her up, the pair walking back to her rooms in a companionable silence, both lost in their own thoughts. When they reached her door, she just hugged him quickly, said goodnight, and slipped through the door. Ben could only stare for a moment, dumbfounded. It seemed they both needed a little time to think about this. 


	4. Tensions

Chapter 4: Tensions  
  
  
  
From a moment of clarity and back to confusion again. Melanie was uncertain about how to proceed from this point. Last night, she had laughed. She could smile again. She was finally recovering from Eliza's loss. And now, just when she was starting to finally find her way clear of her emotional jumble, she'd becoming shockingly and acutely aware of the physical attraction between she and Ben. Well, she couldn't lie to herself, there was something more to it than just physical attraction.  
  
She sighed and beat her fist against her desk. It wasn't fair. She didn't know how to proceed from here. Ben was one of her best friends. She was afraid she'd let him too close. She'd just learned the hard way that letting people close was very dangerous, very painful. There were so many questions to answer. Could she handle letting him that close? Could she handle letting anyone that close? Could she and Ben pursue this thing and still be friends? There were so many unknowns, and so many variables and "what ifs" to the situation to suit her newly healed wound. It was still a very tender spot, and she didn't know if she had the strength, as much as she wanted to, to pursue this and make it something worthwhile.  
  
Melanie ran her fingers through her hair, a well-known sign of frustration to those who knew her well. She wasn't ready yet. That was something she could realize with a certainty. With so much still left to sort out, and so many intangible questions abounding, she wasn't ready yet. At some point, she was sure she would like to pursue it, but she just couldn't right now. Ben would understand, he had to. She didn't want to hurt him by putting things off. The sooner she could talk to him, the better. First, though, she had to do her work in the lab. She smiled at everyone she saw on her way, getting stares and returned grins.  
  
  
  
Lucas stared in shock as Melanie passed him, tossing him a grin and a wink. He gave her a dopey grin and went running for Ben's quarters. He gave the merest of courtesy knocks before he barged through the door.  
  
"Ben! You did it! I knew I couldn't count on you, knew you wouldn't let me down! I could kiss you!" Lucas continued to babble incoherently for several without noticing Ben's inattention.  
  
Finally, Ben looked up, surprised. He blinked before he responded. "Oh, Lucas. Hey. What did I do?"  
  
A strawberry blonde eyebrow shot upward in typical teenage fashion. "What did you do? You did what you promised you would do. You helped Melanie smile again. I just saw her walking down the halls with a smile for everybody. I knew I could count on you, buddy."  
  
Ben held his hands up. "Whoa, there. I just listened to her talk, provided encouragement when needed. She smiled on her own. I was just there to see it." His hands dropped to his sides, seated though he was. He seemed unusually quiet for his usual exuberant self.  
  
Lucas was pretty perceptive for a kid. "Ben, did something happen last night? I mean, something that upset you?"  
  
Ben shrugged slightly. "Depends on how you define upset, I guess. She started to laugh." He smiled slightly. "Did you know she has the most beautiful laugh, and this smile that just, wow. But she said she'd realized that she was going to be all right. We got caught up in the moment, and I hugged her. Something changed in that moment, Lucas. Something in our relationship fundamentally changed. It was almost visible, and it shook us both to the core." Ben fell silent for another moment, and then proceeded quietly. "I think I've fallen for her, hard. And it's tearing me up inside, because I don't want her to feel like she has to start something she may not be ready for. I mean, I want to pursue this, but not if she's not ready for it, you know?" And sometimes, he admitted to himself, he was terrified that she hadn't had the same gut- wrenching feeling he'd had. He was scared she would just want to brush it off.  
  
Lucas nodded slowly. He'd had an inkling that this might happen, but he'd ignored it. He wasn't sure what to say, really. So he simply murmured some words of support. "She'll let you know if it's not welcome, or if she's not ready. I think she's in the same spot you are, Ben. Trust her, and trust yourself. Pick her up from the lab later on."  
  
Ben raised a brow. "Are you sure? What if she doesn't want to see me right now? I mean." He made a helpless gesture with his hand. It was more telling than anything he could have said to Lucas out loud. The teenager had never seen Ben like this. He must have fallen, genuinely fallen, for Melanie. He had a very good feeling that Melanie had fallen just as hard for Ben.  
  
"Trust me. I think she's going to want to talk about this today, as soon as she's finished her course work." Lucas patted Ben on the shoulder. "I've got to go, or I'm going to be late for duty again and you know how things go then." Ben nodded slightly. "Just pick her up, and go from there. Let me know if you need anything else, ok?" Ben just nodded again, and Lucas left him to his thoughts once more, closing the door softly behind him.  
  
  
  
Melanie was almost humming when she literally bumped into Ben. She blinked, then grinned at him. "Just the man I was about to go looking for. What brings you down here?" She linked her arm in his, turning them away from the lab, and towards her quarters, the only place they would have any privacy this time of day.  
  
Ben blushed a little bit, smiling sheepishly at his companion. "Lucas stopped by, and thought you might want to talk to me, and so suggested that I come pick you up." He followed her lead, even giving in to the temptation to pat the hand that was resting in the crook of his elbow.  
  
She nodded a bit, giving him a half-smile.but a genuine one. "Lucas is sometimes far too perceptive than he has a right to be, I think. I do need to talk to you, and it seems that you need to talk to me as well." She nodded to her door. "We've arrived.would you mind doing the honors, Ben?"  
  
He smiled and nodded. He couldn't help it. He always smiled like an idiot when she said his name.he loved the way it sounded. "Of course, Melanie." He opened the door and gestured for her to enter. "After you, madame." She tossed him a smile over her shoulder, and he followed her, closing the door. Lucas nodded from where he'd stopped to give the two privacy in the corridor. Things might even turn out well. 


End file.
